I had lot of confusions. I just graduated with a bachelor's degree in tourism management. My mama told me that she wants me to find a job related to my course (although I know in myself that she has been a supportive mom since I'm young and I know that she will support me in whatever path I wish to go). I was in my 3rd year in college when I started watching makeup tutorials on youtube. It all started when I thought that we are required to have a makeup during our internship at the airport.
The first 'beauty guru' that I met upon searching 'makeup tutorial' in youtube was a Filipina guru whom I never thought I would admire the most and she is "Say Tioco Artillero". I would never forget her name, of course! As I watched her makeup videos, I keep on copying the products that she was using in the tutorial. I kept on saving may OJT allowance to buy makeup stuffs which I saw on Say. Seems crazy, right? But that was the time I realized that I became addicted with makeup.
One day, I dreamed of becoming a 'Say Tioco Artillero' and told myself that, why don't I make a youtube makeup tutorial too? Maybe it's a way for me to become like her. (That was me before)
And then a special friend in school in the name of 'Khaye Cee' introduced me another beauty guru who also became my inspiration and she was "Michelle Phan". Lucky I am that a friend introduced her to me! (How could I not love her works!)
And there it goes, I made a makeup video 5 months ago. I never thought it would be watched by my friends because of it was my first, I am just a beginner!
Until it came a time in my life that I realized... I love how I do it! That makeup video thing. I love it. Seems like I'm really happy doing it. I started filming a lot of videos after my first one but! because of the slow speed of my net connection, I was not able to upload all. :( I was also afraid to be criticized the way I speak in English, it's not that good. (Sad fact) But still, I love doing it. My entire soul (I think) is really happy when I do it. It has became a dream (this is me now, dreaming of becoming a woman's motivator in taking care of herself by sharing my knowledge to everyone on what I know about 'makeup. I wanted to become a youtube beauty "guru")...
And now.. right now! I am in a situation wherein I need to make life choices. It's really hard. I am the eldest siblings in the family (everyone expects something from me.. especially that I graduated with honors..). My family expects me to have a good job because of that, a job which will enable me to help them pay our liabilities (although they do not put pressure in telling it and they're not pushing me). Still, it's my responsibility!
Thinking back (on what I have mentioned above), how could I continue a job in youtube? I am not sure if a cosmetic company would give me sponsorships, if somebody would become interested in my video and watch it (I mean except for my friends), if I will gain subscribers so that youtube will pay me. I am not so sure if I can get a job out of Youtube!
Last night, I gained confidence and tell my mom everything about this issue. She wants me to continue what I love to do! (I told ya, she's really a supportive mom). But then, when I told her that I'm not sure if I can get a job in there, she doesn't react. Few minutes passed and she gave me an advice to not to think this way. She told me "Wag mong isipin na hindi sigurado.. Sigurado! Yun ang isipin mo. Magdasal ka lang". (She is talking about the job I can get out of making tutorials)
I was speechless and kept on thinking that night. I looked up and pray (in silence).
I was in front of my laptop. I checked out my e-mail and smiled when I saw a message from a 'beauty guru' who has numerous subscribers and I think she wants to be friend with me. Besides that, someone also commented on my video that she loves it and she's making beauty tutorials too. An idea came in my mind that night and it was like "Is this a sign from above? Is it the reason why I still don't have a job right now? Because He wants me to do what I REALLY LOVE?"
It was that night when I realized that I already had a job! I forgot that I am a youtube partner and my videos were monetized already (it's just that I used youtube musics which made my video guilty on having 3rd party content and so I won't be paid because of that).
I also posted a status in facebook that time because I think that I also need advice from friends. And then I'm right, I got advice. Thanks to you guys (you know who you are) for replying in my status, for helping me wit this problem. Lesson on that: God always hear my prayers.. It's just sometimes, I wasn't able to see what I have because I kept on asking for something I don't have! :(
As of this moment, I will be uploading a makeup video which is something unusual and it was entitled "How to: Selfie-friendly Makeup".. It will be available here: http://youtu.be/aqhIXZM00Cs (76% pa lang nag-uupload eh)
So ayun, I really want to have a job on this! And I will put really huge efforts to build a career in here. Now I know which path I should choose. I realized that I'm just afraid because I always think of negative things (mama also told me that). I kept on singing a church song (for Catholic) with this lyric:
'Do not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home. I love you and you are mine.'
And then I'm still afraid?! I realized that something lacks in me. This is a "belief", a belief that someday I will be in a good situation because I chose to do what I love to do.
Now I chose my path.. (I will work hard for this)! Really hard. Simply because this is what I love! If somebody else (my mom, my family, my friends) can believe that I can be a 'Say Artillero' or 'Michelle Phan', why not me?
Look I'm not being to boastful here. It's just that I WANT TO BELIEVE THAT I CAN.
As my friend/classmate (Aaron) told me, "Everything is worth giving a try."
As for me, I don't want to die with regrets. We all know, nobody knows when he/she will die. And if I don't do this steps on becoming a youtube beauty guru and a professional makeup artist, my soul might be so much regretful and I never wanted that to happen. I wanted to live my life in the fullest, doing things which even I'm not sure if I can get money, at least will make me the happiest 'employee' on earth. (And about the issue.. how can I help my family financially? I still don't know. One thing I know is that.. My God, Jesus Christ, will never leave us alone and he is always there guiding us. Di niya kami pababayaan.)
I am typing this blog with a smile on my face thinking that, I can do this. God is with me, all the time! I believe that every little thing in this Earth happens for a good reason. :)
This is my story. Hope it inspires you. (even just a bit! hehe) Thanks so much to everyone who have given their time reading this blog. I am Katherine Joyce Pernia Maglalang, a simple person who is a dreamer, a believer and much stronger right now. I hope you are too! Lots of love from me. :*
*I bet God sent you to me. The reason why you read this blog. I think. Thanks again. :D
Photo reference:
https://www.google.com.ph/search?q=8891361-girl-makeup-beads-fashion&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=bid_U8TQO9Po8AW8rIG4Bg&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=667#facrc=_&imgrc=-INF7tCLYS0NyM%253A%3BBwwbkJd3fob0bM%3Bhttps%253A%252F%252Flh4.googleusercontent.com%252F-GVIMifDmTTk%252FUzOq83Rhz-I%252FAAAAAAAAABs%252FaQnvcP_RLZc%252Fs0-d%252F8891361-girl-makeup-beads-fashion.jpg%3Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fplus.google.com%252F100892639282994150971%3B1214%3B572
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